how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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your father died

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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miley cyrus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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