Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Sonic

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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Billy's alarm clock went off at 8:00 AM but Billy was really tired but still his Dad forced him to go to school.

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Why was the man thought to be peculiar? Because he had sex with a pistachio.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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Mitt Romney.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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