If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

Japan called... They need help.

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

a man walks into horse bar

what do a jew homosexual and a latino all have in common? human dignity.

Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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