What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Have you seen the movie "Constipation?" No. It hasn't come out yet! Of course there is no such movie in production and no plans for such a movie exist.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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The cow went moo

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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conrad profit

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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