what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Justin Beiber

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Girls Basketball.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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