why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Girls Basketball.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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