Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

whats worse than 9/11? 9/12

Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

Penis penis poop butt

Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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