What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Two gay men walk down the street holding hands, and are applauded for expressing their love for each other.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Whats better than an anti joke? Having sex with a supermodle

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What's worse than ten babies nailed to one tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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