How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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Hippopatomous!

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Proof reading

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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i'm not gay

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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