How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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What did the robber take from the store? The managers dick

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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