Dani barton= lovely

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Knock knock Come In.......

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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Hippopatomous!

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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Proof reading

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What's really weird? It's you Greg!

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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