What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What's the difference between a giraffe and an erection? An erection is much easier to obtain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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fkda

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Yo mamma so mexican she brought tacos to the dinner table

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Girls Basketball.

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Justin Beiber

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Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

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I enjoy vagina. While you enjoy penis in your mouth. Just remember God hates fags. :)

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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A bold man said "well, here goes nothing!" Moments later, thats what happened

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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