What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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amy mcguire is soo amazing! i love her

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What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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hi patrick

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

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Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops