Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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Keep up the fun Nero!

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Society.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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Mitt Romney penis

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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SCUBA is spelt S C U B A

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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