How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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Hippopatomous!

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Proof reading

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i'm not gay

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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