Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Cold camel scrotum.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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A blonde walks into a bar She said, agh that hurt

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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