Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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minecraft

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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JEWS

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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Q: Why did you fall of that swing? A: Because I'm fat.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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women playing football?

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Yo mamas so fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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