guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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what do you call a retarded kid? jack kamstra

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Knock knock. Death.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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How many dislikes can this get?

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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Teacher: What's 2x2 John? John: (ignores teacher) Teacher: John! John: huh? Teacher: go on John: uh? 24?

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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69

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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