What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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knock knock go away

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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