Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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Yo mamas so fat

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the appropriate amount of medicine as directed by her doctor for her condition.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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