who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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What's wrong with woman Everything

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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This is not a joke.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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