What did the fish say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

thumb_up thumb_down +28

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Keep up the fun Nero!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Mitt Romney penis

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops