why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Knock, Knock. Come in.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

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The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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