What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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I Stumbled this site and then read some antijokes, then I wrote a antijoke but I couldn't write a antijoke because their Terms of Service were down so then I lied to them saying I've read their Terms of Serivce and then I lied again, told them I were human, argued by saying "barnote plate" to them. They accepted.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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