Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Hey, Max!!

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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gay marriage.

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Blind people can't read this.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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13

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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