Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

thumb_up thumb_down +17

motley crew

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops