A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Hippopatomous!

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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If u wanna get high, smoke weed

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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