A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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whats 2+2? 4

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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who is the wildest wild one? matt daly

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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if life gives you lemons...chuck them back and say i wanted muffins instead!!!!

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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