What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

Q

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

Penis-Pump

What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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