3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you want to hear a joke 123456789 987654321 boo!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops