Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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THE GAME

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Penis penis poop butt

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JEWS

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians? A groupie.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops