A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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240

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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I did your mom..... A favor..... By making you..... A sandwich...... With mustard.....

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The WNBA

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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