Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Two Jews are on their way to the giant oven, one looks back at the other in fear and says, "I think I overcooked the lasagna."

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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whats water and frozen? an ice cube

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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want to hear a bird joke? no well, this is hawkward

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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What's red and has wheels a red car....

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops