A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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Penis

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women have rights

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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my namew is jd

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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trumpy trumpy trump

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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why couldent Hellen Keller drive? Because shes a woman.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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