if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Matt Damon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Women's Rights.

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks. Thumbs up if you get it.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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