Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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anti jokes

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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Penis.

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What looks like half an apple? The other half.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Q. how did the blond get a college degree in medicine? A. she studied hard and aced her final exam.

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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