two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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There once was a girl named sally with no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It was hit by an oncoming motorist in a busy intersection.

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The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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Cancer.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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Alt F4

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops