Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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