Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't change anything.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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