-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Q: Whats worse that 10 dead babies in a trash can? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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JEWS

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops