Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his dying grandma in the hospital

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Society has given up on chairs that spin.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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