So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This site is easy to upload to...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Take my wife- to the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Win and Beau have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +12

This message is boring. There is no joke. There is no punchline. You can stop reading now.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops