There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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A bus full of orphans falls off a cliff.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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marshal sterio had sex

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What did Liberia say to Texas? Tag, you're it!

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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WNBA

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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