what happened to the man with no arms or legs when he was pushed down a hill? nobody knows he is still going ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops