A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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dislike this...please.

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Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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obama

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What happens when a PC gamer without a mic rages? ASDKFHQIUEWHASKZNF9324Y8PTWFSDIUHASDFADSFUFKASJDF843QADKJVNCXT%$W(ESDHDSFAAASDFASKLDFU8EWADSdsfalsdkjfhuewanzxcAJSKDFUIEW

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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25

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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