Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Doorbell salesman.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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25

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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AVB

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops