If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops