What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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What happened when the joke was bad? crippled up like cancer of the eye

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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A cow walks into an Asian bar and asks for a beer. The bartender asks it for I.D. It says "it doesn't matter. I came by horse."

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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your mommas so ugly it is affecting her self esteem!

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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