What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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