Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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Ham sandwich

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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¿melano?

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops