Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

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Why was the fat person sad? Because he was fat.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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buttcrack thumbs up

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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A jew go out of a bar

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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where would you hide 100 dead jews in a car the ashtray because they were all cremated

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops