- Anti Joke

Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

women's rights

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

hi corey

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

Why? Because!

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

what do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.