- Anti Joke

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

How do you kill the President of the United States? Your name has been reported to the authorities.

Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

Juggling lions and breast feeding.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

why was the boy sad He had a frog stapled to his face

Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

Why did the chicken cross the road Because he was Pierre preasured by all you assholes Saying he already did it so now he feels like he Has to do it.

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe